Welcome to the Zeppo home improvement show!
cross-posted to SaucyDwellings


None of my art is hung up yet, up to and including the fabulous oil painting that the super whammo action robny did for me last Christmas and the excellent portrait of a blue on black pelvis bone that taxidermy mistressmandy_moon painted for me on demand.
The gist is, the walls are naked right now.
I just got overly excited with the borrowed digital camera and started snapping away like a cracked-up chimpanzee even though the room isn't quite finished.
By the way, thanks froglegs.
For the camera obviously, not the crack.



Here is the ceiling. Frankly I am pretty damn proud that I managed to get the lines straight since the whole room is wonky.


This is the closet. Yes it's boring shot, but it was such a raging bitch to paint the thing I have to make somebody look at it.


I never would have bought this bookcase just out shopping for such things, but I decided to take a chance on it because it seemed like it might be a cohesive element, blah, blah, blah - that and it was 40 bucks, let's move on shall we?


What's next? Ah yes the file cabinet. I bought this at Office Depot for nineteen dollars a bajillion years ago and it was one ugly beige sumabitch. It is amazing what some excellent wrapping paper and spray-ment can do. After the paper was good and stuck, I clear-coated it with some Krylon and built a wooden frame with white casters and attached it with construction adhesive so if I ever decide to make another one - I can race em!


Fishstand! This was a dark brown laminate printer stand eyesore with an non-stop ticket to dumpsterville. I sanded the finish down and used a high-gloss oil based paint. I wasn't sure it would take the weight of the tank so I had to sit on it and read magazines for a bit. Look at me, I sewed curtains for it and everything like a girly swat.


Here is a close-up of the tank. I wanted to show everybody my creepy 50's reproduction aquarium ornaments. The dragon is perfect, but the mermaids look a little too well painted, I wanted that sort of occupied Japan - "we're pissed and we are going to produce sub-standard American tchotchkes!" look. I almost succumbed to the urge to ask the owner to send me two more, but be intoxicated while she painted them this time.
You may be able to pick out my comet and bristlenose plecostomus, Bloom and Bialystock respectively.


I have had this traffic sign sitting around since dinosaurs roamed the earth and didn't know quite what to do with it. Again I built a simple frame with 2x4's this time and added fatter casters and viola! it's a, it's a... well, it rolls anyway and I put my feet on it when I am sitting in...


The GIANT HAND CHAIR! I just love this thing. I loved it so much, I sewed up a couple of pillows for it and paired it with my impulse "clock-on-a-stick" purchase. I found the deco plant stand at a antique shop with a rust/ugly paint combo and again the magic of Krylon came to my rescue. The circle curtain was an embarrassing purchase from non other than Pottery Barn teen.
May the decorating gods forgive me.


Lastly, some of you long time readers may recall me nearly getting into a fistfight over an office chair, lo this is the same chair with a newly sewn cover replete with dingle balls.
Nothing says "taking care of business" like dingle balls.
The sometime resident of the chair is my 18 year old cat Boomtown. The flash inadvertently awakened her from 47th nap of the day and she can get a little cranky.
The look you might recognize as "I plan to eat you once you fall asleep - eyes first!"


The grand total for the Zeppo office makeover was $176.38.
Crap, now I have to get started on the bedroom...